245 days left

Tomorrow will be the start of the seven-day holiday—Golden Week, which we called it. Actually, nearly everybody say it in this way. I really need a rest and some adjustments in those days, then I will be looking forward to the GE more confidently and courageously.
That would not be an impossible goal for me, a brave man with lots of energy, a persistent guy with the strongest perseverance as well as a brilliant student with an excellent intelligence.
And for chasing my dreams, nothing can be an obstacle in my way. I was a little inspired by a movie a saw just now, and there was a sentence impressed me: There's an old saying. "Jumping off a cliff only hurts if you forget how to fly."
The leading actor of that movie is an self-confident guy, he told his students who were in great inferiority when they're attending a ball full of superior noble, that "Take away their good looks, their money and their superior attitude, and what do you have?"
Yes, when take away all the people already have, we were all the same, the only thing that can distinguish us is our thought and our soul; and if our thought is powerful and our soul is clear, we are the noble.

246 days left

My illness is going worse, but during the couple of days after I started to watch(I think the word watch is more accurate because I listened it on my computer screen) the Neworiental GE lectures. The teachers are experienced and very good at learning English, and their teaching style are very humorous and vivid, I even a little addicted to their lectures.
Mr Jin who teaches reading comprehension elaborately illustrate a series of effective ways to cope with every question after the exam texts. More importantly, he teaches us how to be familiar with the reading articles of GE and the way to solve those problems. One valuable tip is to make some cards wrote on long-difficult sentences and the translation of them on the opposite side, in this way you can read these forms of the sentences at any moment as well as practice your translation skills.
He also emphasized the importance of the real texts in last decade and suggested us doing our best to master the 60 articles, even to recite 20 of them and read the rest ones very familiarly. Recite and reading loudly are the best ways to learning a language, because if you can imitate the native language speaker's way of using such language completely, that means you have mastered this language just as them.

247 days left

Today I listened another lecture in the section of the GE reading comprehension which takes 70% in the total scores. "The success of the GE is determined by the English test" said the teacher Jin Wei who teaches at the Neworiental. "And the success of the English test is determined by the reading comprehension part." He also said that if you did very well in this part, the score of 80 is no longer a dream.
So that's the importance of the reading comprehension. I've always believed that my reading skill is not bad. Until today, I know it was terrible after I failed all the four questions of a text he gave on class. Fortunately, I found this vulnerability not too late. I can understand what the text say and through the whole article there's no new word for me, so I have a good English fundament, what I need is just the skill of the test and the way of how to choose the right answer. Thus, this lecture must be very helpful for me.
I want to finish all of the reading, vocabulary, writing lectures during the 5.1 holiday and will make a new plan for my English study after that.

248 days left

I spent more than 6 hours to watch some interesting GE tutorial classes in the form of flash which comes from Neworiental, including vocabulary class taught by Liu Chang and writing class taught by Huang Peichen. I learned a lot of exam skills from them, but what they impressed me most is their humorous speech style when they are giving lectures.
I think I have something to do during this 5.1 holiday, rather than just watching the mathematic Powerpoint. I have to admit that the CD brother Hou gave me is very helpful and valuable. Since I don't take the GE tutorial spring fundamental classes, I need some guides and instructions about.

249 days left

Xu Xiao called me from his school tonight, he said today the city of Xian is completely without power for 41 hours because of a rebuilding of power station. We talked about 40 minutes, but Xu didn't told me anything about Taiwan and the state safety, as his words, "All of the telephones in his school were monitored and the phone he was using is not except.
So we just chatted about something else, about his leg waiting for an operation in July, and his usual life in Xian. I have to admit that Xu's broken leg must be his biggest regret. As an athlete, he used to get champions of the Lanzhou City's Athlete Meeting in high jump and long jump, and he is the main force in his college basketball team. And his injury also came from his favorite game-- basketball.

250 days left

I suddenly recalled two of my enemies and the revenge I would take for my mother in the future. I don't know what time it should be taken, but as an old expression said that: 10 years is not late for a real man who was thirsting for revenge. I'm thirsting for the sweet of the revenge, but it's already 15 years past and I haven't did that yet. Unbelievably, I even sat at the opposite side against my enemy once in the last spring festival, but at that time, I know I can't do that.
I don't want to live under the shadow of enmity, but maybe it is another strong motivation of working harder and be more powerful. I really thirst for the power, man's power; and I felt that the ambitions which has been sealed deeply in my heart has grew so strong that I even can't seal it any more; at the same time, the ambitious side of me once just live in the subconscious is getting more and more prominent these years, especially after my electromagnetic cooker and electric cooker been robbed a few months before.
For me, the way to be powerful is only through the academic way: getting Master's degree, then Doctor's degree, doing my best be a great scientist with great achievements and great honors, and in Chinese famous equals to powers, at least in some areas.

250 days left

Kathy made it! Here I should mention that this Kathy is my classmate in the minor of law, rather than that Kathy comes from Taiwan. And she's the only girl I really liked during my college years. She has enrolled by the Dalian Marine University in the major of Law, and she's the only one in my minor class that has successfully past the GE of Law, other two excellent classmates were failed.
When I received the message with the cheerful news, I was really laughed out and excited for her success! "You're really great!" I typed that, "So please enjoy this wonderful moment as much as you can!"
She deserved it because she has made it, so what about me? How can I take this challenge and make my dream comes true too? Hehe, I believe I will, because I'm a man:)

251 days left

I chat with Kathy just now through the TM phone about 30 minutes, and I felt my oral English is so poor that I even can't express myself through the simplest sentence. I have a long way to go to master the daily sentences and expressions of English, even though I was a little frustrated about it, I will do my best to improve my speaking ability; at least I have Kathy, a good friend who like to chat with me and practice oral English with me together.
I have told Kathy that when we are chatting we should try our best to use English rather than Chinese to express ourself until it's impossible, then we can use some Chinese to help express it. But today when I have a trouble to express myself, I gave up to talk in English and used Chinese frequently. In contrast, Kathy didn't use Chinese until she had to. I think I was a little nervous just now, I don't know why, maybe it's the lacking of self-confidence.
But if I afraid and even move back, I will lose a good chance to practice spoken English and conquer the scare of speaking in English. So I have to encourage myself and try my best, more important, I'm willing to know people's feeling beyond the other side of the Taiwan Straits because I believe that we are always compatriots no matter under what conditions in what time.

252 days left

Finally, I cleaned my room after a 5 hours siesta, and the heap of clothes still swell and fester. May be tomorrow I can wash some of them, but I just say may be.
I have made an appointment with Kathy that I'll chat with her through TM voice talk, unfortunately, however, my Internet service have something wrong, so I don't know if it will run OK in use the voice talk even though Kathy hasn't logged on QQ yet.
I met with Yang Yuan on TM and she told me that the major exam of the GE of Xian Jiaotong University in the subject of Biomedical Engineering hasn't been decided yet, and perhaps the paper will be the mix of the Signal and System and the Theory of Microcomputer according to her college mates' words who were also in my subject.
Thanks to my middle school's classmate Yang Yuan who studied in the School of Life Science & Technology, I can receive the latest internal and reliable news of changes in next year's GE, also helped me saving a lot of energy and time to collect such informations. With these beneficial conditions and friends, I'm sure that I can easily pass the exam if I work hard this year.

253 days left

Wang Zhiyu has quit his job for nearly a week, and when I saw him today, through his pale complexion I can see the tiredness(or weariness) in his dull eyes.
These days he must be tortured by his quiting of the job just because someone's supplantation and dissatisfaction with him. Wang is an excellent manager as well as a good worker, but his leader is such a foolish boss that didn't know anything except endless talking and emphases on trivial things. As Wang said, his boss is just an old classmate of the head boss and without any exceptional ability. However, Wang has a lot of ideas and creativities that can't be represented under the control of this stupid boss. One old expression in Chinese said that: there's no place for a hero. In addition to other's supplanation, so he choose to quit.

254 days left

If you are under the water, what's your most desired thing? Of cause the air! So if you desire the success of the Graduate Exam(GE) just as you desire air under the water, triumphs will be anywhere you would be.
This sentence comes from an article wrote by a predecessor of the GE on the Internet. However, who can actually do that? Even though I'm quite sure that if there is anyone who followed that would be success undoubtedly.
But one thing is sure that I must have a strong expectation of the success at least, that is—I can do that! Then it will help me to strengthen my confidence.
Another important tip I got at the mathematics is that solving problems by yourself rather than just looking examples in books is crucial. One man said that because of his neglect of doing enough practice, he just got a poor score of 59 at the first time he take GE. He said when he was seeing the familiar problems on the paper with the knowledge of how to solve them but lacking of useful ways once he saw in the examples, he recognized that he has been actually making a mistake in "low hands with high eyes". Therefore, after the failure he started to do more exercises independently and at the second year he finally got an excellent score—147!
I think this is a revelational example for me, also a "low hands with high eyes" guy that reluctant to do exercises. I'm watching the PowerPoint of Mathematics now, sometimes I will take up my pen and solve problems on paper with the reference of examples on my computer screen. Apparently, the process is not independent and the exercises I took are obviously too little, so I should take enough time to do more exercises after watching PPT in the future. Practice makes perfect after all.

255 days left

I ordered a cup of coffee in the Mcdonald's next to the Chengjian Natatorium at 10:00 this morning, and Pangpang took me there by his car after the first class. I selected a quiet and neat corner and put my coffee on the little table waiting for Giant Gui since we had decided to swim for one hour from 12:10, and according to my previous plan, I took out my book, paper, and pencil starting solving mathematics' problem instantly.
Surely, I attracted people's attentions easily, but that didn't disrupt me; in contrast, I pretended to study hard and think serious because I know someone was watching me with a doubt just like that: why this guy study here?
It seemed that I was fascinated by pretending to do such ridiculous things since I was very young. Once upon a time, about 5 years old, when someone visited my house, I always loved to sit on a low bench and put a calligraphic book on another much taller stool, then see the unrecognizable ancient Chinese characters seriously so that I would win the guest's praise. I even put the stools at the door and studied at there, of course with an opening door.
Such things companied with my growing experiences as long as 23 years, and it happened again on today's morning at the Mcdonald's. I love to be watched by people and attract other's attentions because I want to prove that I'm the best, and I'm the hero! Maybe Kathy is right, men in the Leo was born to show off.
But when a lion Lord lose his confidence, he would be the weakest one in the world. The dignity of a lion should be held during his life even after his death, such as Xiang Yu, I believe he's also a Lion. Being the king of the men when you was alive, being the lord of the ghost after you died.
Even though I can't be a real king, at least I can do my best on my study and my career, be a king in my area of research is also an glorious honor to show off.
So for the honor of the Lion Lord, do my best!

256 days left

I stopped the self criticism for days, however, it doesn't mean that I've corrected some of my fault, so today it should be restarted.
I recalled a famous person in the modern history of China: Zeng Guofan. The great leader Chairman Mao once said Zeng is the only person he admired in the modern history of China. Why? Because Zeng's perseverance in correcting his faults, and his courage of pointing them out. He really did it, and finally he became a perfect man, at least in his time.
I have to say that these days I was a little addicted by the TM and MSN which are live messengers. For instance, I can't help from checking who's online and then chatting with them. Chatting can waste time, more seriously, checking as well as waiting for someone's response can waste more time and distract or divert my attention. So I must abstain from them, no wonder who's there.
At the same time, stop browsing other irrelevant websites so that I can save time to concentrate on my study. If I do, I will warn myself and stop instantly by closing the Firefox.

257 days left

Xu Xiao wants to take the graduate exam too in the year of 2008, it's a little shocked me. However maybe it's also the best way for him to promote in the army, even though I don't understand the promotion rule of soldiers.
In fact, he's already an officer of lieutenant, and is studying in the Xi'an Politics Institute of PLA. I want to talk about Taiwan's Problem with him, but he insisted that this topic shouldn't be talked on the Internet since it's unsafe and our conversation may be spied so that the national secret he knows would be leaked out. I think he's too serious and cautious, but he promised that he will call me and talk about it on the telephone when he leave hospital after the operation. So I'm looking forward to that calling and the lecture of the National Safe and Political Condition gave from this old friend.

258 days left

Xu Xiao's broken leg was hurt again, he said his knee of the broken left leg was inflamed, and it needs an operation to draw out the water in his knee. Her mother will go to Xian tomorrow to look after her, I hope the operation will be very successful. Bless for him!

259 days left

I chat with Kathy for 4 hours! Oh my god! I can't believe that I chat with a girl for such a long time. I can't remember how many topics we have chatted, but one thing is sure that we didn't stopped during the 4 hours except a 5 minutes break just because she had to collect her clothes that she dried outside.
Her voice sounds good, even though not very sweet as I expect, but after I listened it for a long time, it became more familiar, just like an old friend. And how can you complain at the voice of your friend?
And her English, I think it's better than me. But she said that my tone was the British English rather than the American English as she speak, because my pronunciation of the word "not". I should admit that I pronounced "not" like the British English more, even if I studied the American English when I started to listen Studioclassroom, but the change comes a little slowly and I often forgot to pronounce "o" in the tone of the American English. I will pay more attention on that in the future.
We will chat tomorrow, and if we have time, we will take 10 to 20 minutes to practice our oral English everyday. I believe that learning together can be fun!

260 days left

Swimming is really a good sport, when you are swimming in the water, you forget anything except pushing the water and taking a breath. But when you are sitting on your chair, looking at the computer screen, and typing the phrase of 260 days left, the pressure comes again overwhelmingly.
On my way to dormitory from the Chengjian Natatorium which is 3 kilometers away from here, I recalled the philosophers of the ancient Greek and Quyuan, the greatest patriotic poet living during 353~277 BC in the period of the Warring States of China, and his state is Chu. I discovered one point that they, not only Quyuan but also the ancient Greek philosophers such as Socrates and Plato, are all very clear—I mean, not just their pure thought, at the same time, they have a pure body without any dust physically. Especially Quyuan, he even has a cleanliness. He always compares himself with fragrant flowers.
So I wondered that if I want to be a great person like Quyuan, I should first keep my body clear as well as my clothes and dormitory, then I will have a good mood that I'm clear and I must do some holy things too; even though I'm not a philosopher now, but I believe one day I will be one, because I can see the stars that guided me in the sky and I will follow them steadfastly.

261 days left

Regrettably, my MP3 was broken after I copied the PowerPoint of Probability from my Mathematic teacher Dr. Chen this afternoon, and the files I copied maybe stored in the flash memory forever if the MP3 couldn't be repaired.
I spent 300 yuan on this tiny electronic device to help my listening English 18 months ago, even though it may less worthy than 100 yuan now, I still feel lost, because it really helped me much and companied with me for one year and a half. I couldn't leave it even one day. I filled audio files of Studioclassroom full with the 256MB memory and listened them on the road as well as at the break time after classes so that I won't waste any usable time.
Just now Pangpang called me consulting some related laws about his friend's driving licence detained in the communication police station because an car accident. He consulted me this morning and I came to the Law Department asking this from my teacher Mr. Zhou, who teaches Jurisprudence and Civil-Mercantile Law. He told me it already solved this afternoon when his friend payed 2000 yuan to the police station without the present of the opposite party, but I didn't think it's over because the person who was hitted by Pangpang's friend still have the right to prosecute.

262 days left

I visited the the Medical Imaging Group's home page of the Cambridge University Engineering Department just now. It only has about 6 doctors and 6 or 7 masters, and it's a little small than my previous thinking that the Cambridge must have a lot of researchers in the biomedical engineering domain. I saved the related websites as my bookmarks in my Firefox web browser, and I will visit them in the future finding some useful informations about my major, I'm sure I will find something valuable, because it's the University of Cambridge!
And I found a form of application of PhD at that site, it named Prospective Research Student Early Contact Form, it will be used for the purposes of processing applications for research studentships and initializing departmental databases with information concerning successful candidates for research studentships. But for me, the form seems a little earlier, since the applications just afford the applying for admission in 2009 at the latest date, and at that time I haven't graduate from my graduate college, and the most important thing is that I can't write some valuable personal reference in that form. How embarrassing!

263 days left

I nearly lost my minor certificate of law if I didn't go to the teacher's office of the Literary and Law College. I went to there and told to professor Yu that I haven't deliver my last paper yet, asking whether I can do it now as a compensation, he allowed it with a smile and give me the model of the thesis.
I studied law from the second semester of my freshman year until the last semester. During the 3 years, or 6 semesters, I studied law even harder than my own major. I wrote my paper myself, and seldom absented in the classes; I even went to listen the lectures of Law with the Law Department students from 03 grade to 05 grade, and bought about 30 books from a elder sister in 01 grade who was enroll by the Central University of Finance and Economics. But I think the most important thing is that I have known many good teachers, including Ms. He, Mr. Wu, Mr. Zhou, and professor Yu, etc. At the same time I learned a lot of things from them as well as their thought about law. These teachers care for me as well as my study and I respect them very much, and I often communicated with them.
Then I download an article and paste it in the model, and then, mission accomplished. In fact, the first paper of law I wrote is completely by myself. I remember that I spent two days in the library searching for the literatures and finished my paper, then I typed it to my computer and printed out. I nearly can remember the paper's name, My questions about the Constitution. I think that paper must scared the teacher, Ms. Liu. Even though that paper may be the worst in all my theses, but I can still recall the name as well as some contents, maybe just because that's really a paper what I wrote for heart.

264 days left

Swimming, I haven't play that sport about 4 months except once that Xu Xiao invited me and Tan Xiao to the washing center where have a mini swimming pool in the winter vacation. Today, Giant Gui asked me to Chengjian natatorium, and we spent 2 hours there. I was really exhausted, four months is quite a long time for me, an amateur but a swimming lover.
Today I saw a lot of acquaintances there, including Mr. Sun, a sport teacher who has suffered a serious disease of stroke.

265 days left

I spent about six hours to help Giant Gui to edit his presentation VCD this afternoon, cutting, connecting, again and again. The VCD will sent to England and be verified by the ambassador of the Embassy; if they admit, he will get the working-visa and go to England three month later. So the VCD is very important for him, and we just spent almost two hours to record it on yesterday's morning. Even though Giant Gui can speak a little English, but the presentation note I wrote maybe a little difficult for him, so we recorded the less than 5 minutes video for such a long time even with a group of words at one time. What a challenging work! So did the editing.
Giant Gui disrupted my plan today, he just left 3 hours for me tonight.
However, I hang out six hours outside and see something different, the bustling city with crowded vehicles and the buses full of people. It seems that I haven't seen this colorful world for a long time.
I see and think, that people struggled, enjoyed, and complained, but they will never escape the life, plain, very plain life that we must live with.
Sometime, I did think too much, in fact, I'm a plain man too. Why do I pretend to know everything, maybe that just mean I know nothing.

266 days left

Kathy invited me to practice oral English with her, but I'm a little afraid of that, because my oral English is terrible! But I don't want to disappoint the lovely girl who has been suffered too much. From our chatting, I noticed that she don't have a good mother who just adored her sons rather than the daughter. I don't know exactly what they did to this girl, but I can feel that she was seriously hurt through her words typing in the chatting column.
So I agreed. But at first, my computer should ran smoothly with the talking service, at least without too much delay. Later I will test the voice chatting function with Tong Xin, one of my classmates, and if it's running OK, I'll be an oral English partner of Kathy. A little nervous.
Then I chat with Amy, suddenly I noticed that I can hardly keep with her lessons because I didn't have time to practice the writing of program in the compile computer language as well as C. So I must do something this weekend, pick up the book and the most importantly, debug the programs with my computer. Learning from the practice is the shortcut of this subject, and I think it's almost the shortcut of all subject. Practice makes perfect.

267 days left

I listened some piano songs of the Daydream recommend by Zhang Jing yesterday night. What should I say, they're pretty good and sounds like poems. For instance, when I was listening the song, Tears, many scenarios appeared in my brain, both nice and blue scenes; It helps opening the door of memory as well as my heart, and makes me quiet, cools down my consciousness.
I have been listening the classical music for about two weeks, during these days, each song in my computer has been listened at least 10 times, so even the most beautiful songs like the piano sonata Moonlight of Beethoven and the solo violin Air on a G String of Bach sounded not as fair-sounding as before. The change become necessary, and these master's musics need a period of deposition.
And I emailed to Sun Ming asking whether the Daydream can surpass those masters, why his music sounded so good? And does the melody means everything of a song? How to perceive the thought and feeling of the musician want to express?
Sun Ming is my only music teacher in the college, she has a well education in music and knows lots of about this form of art, so I believe she can answer my question and improve my musicianship.

268 days left

But to my mom, I should make some promises to her, and the most important thing is keeping them through my whole life. For example, I promised her to get at least two doctor's degrees, one for me, the other for her. And the doctor degree getting for her is the compensation for her school missing.
She hope that one day I can be a great man, however, that's a blurry goal. So what's great? In my opinion, it is do something important and valuable. I've said many times that taking the graduate exam and be a graduate student is the first step to be a scientist. To the difference of others who just want a graduate certificate for a better job, I love science very much, and my interest to nature and science is any less than a 8-years young boy. I believe I can fulfill lots of research tasks in the future, because I have great creativity and imagination. So I need more knowledges, skills, educations, trainings, the abilities lead me to my success, in my mother's words, be great.
At today's class, my post doctor teacher Amy said that 5 years later we can surpass her if we follow her suggestions and keep an active attitude. I believe it's true, at least for me, a man with passionate feeling, cool brain, strong body and persevering faith. How can such a man can't be great if the circumstances is right? But I will say, if I'm in a bad condition, I will also do my best and resist the fate as Beethoven did, for my mom, for my dream.

269 days left

Under the shadow of the failing of my parent's marriage, I'm very afraid of marriage. I said I never want to be a man like my father, but I worried that I have succeeded all his genes, including his selfishness and illiberality. I think these genes are embedded deeply in my body, and one day they will grow up overwhelmingly and conquer the faith and belief in my heart, and then, I will be a complete copy of my father—his perfect clone.
You must ask how did I have such a thought and lacking of confidence, I'm also not sure why, maybe I know myself better than anyone else, or maybe sometimes I can touch my subconscious and discovered what's in it.
So I worried that one day I will treat my wife—who must be the woman I loved very much in the world—just like my father treats my mother. Besides, I also worried I can't provide her a well living condition and give her a fortunate life, I really can't promise that.
...to be continued

270 days left

My father was such a man that I never want to be, especially for his rude attitude toward my mom and his selfishness as well as his illiberality. On the contrary, my mom is hospitable and very generous and it seems that she can forgive every thing.
But my mom can't read. In her opinion, this is the most vital vulnerability in her whole life, whereupon it becomes my father's most complacent reason that he finished his high school and my mother even didn't graduate from an elementary school. More of that, he looked down on my mom's rural identity, because he thought he lived in a big city.
I wondered why did he marry with his present wife, my mom? He's so proud that how can he fell in love with a rural girl without any school certificates? "I was blind that time," He said. If such words represent the more educated people in China, I would be inclined to retreat from my university unhesitatingly, that's the failing of education!
My mom was valetudinarian in her young ages, so she missed her school time regrettably. Besides, in 1970's, under the influence of the feudal culture, education is alway neglected for girls. So is it her wrong? Apparently not!
But my father didn't think so. He even shared this to his relatives and laughed at my mom together! How dare he do such mean things? He have completely forgotten that the woman he looked down was his own wife.
......to be continued

290 days left

My mom hope I can go to the universities in Nanjing or Shanghai, studying there, and working there, then live in there, so she can come back again. I know her feeling, but I choose the Xian Jiaotong University for my graduate years. She didn't say anything against my choice before, even one word, but yesterday when she whimpered in the telephone telling me the sad news, she eventually complained that, " Everybody is there except me..."
What should I do? I know my mother's nostalgic feelings, and I also know that she can't bear my rude, unkind father any more. But what could I do?
......to be continued

271 days left

The sad news of the death of my aunt, who is the wife of my mom's oldest brother, shocked my mom seriously.
She died at noon, peacefully, painlessly; but for others, sadly. Especially for her closest relatives, her husband, son, daughter, as well as my mom. Even though my mom is not her closest relative, but she love my aunt so much. Actually, the relationship between them just like sister-german. My aunt is 9 years older than my mom, so she took care of my mom as her little sister, "Every time she came to see me or came back from other places, she alway took some presents for me, she always thought me" My mom recalled.
I can't understand that feeling because I have no brother or sister; even I have some, we don't grow up together, so we don't have such close relationships. But my mother has. She must be a lovely girl when she was young, because all the relatives and friends in her hometown like her very much. But at about the age of 20, she came to Lanzhou to succeed her father's job, and then, she got married with my dad; and then, I was born.
From that time, my mother seldom came to her hometown again, she was completely sole in Lanzhou without any former relatives here. I know some of her feeling, the feeling of far away from my parents that I have experienced when I came to Shenyang University of Technology in 2003.
......to be continued