Under the shadow of the failing of my parent's marriage, I'm very afraid of marriage. I said I never want to be a man like my father, but I worried that I have succeeded all his genes, including his selfishness and illiberality. I think these genes are embedded deeply in my body, and one day they will grow up overwhelmingly and conquer the faith and belief in my heart, and then, I will be a complete copy of my father—his perfect clone.
You must ask how did I have such a thought and lacking of confidence, I'm also not sure why, maybe I know myself better than anyone else, or maybe sometimes I can touch my subconscious and discovered what's in it.
So I worried that one day I will treat my wife—who must be the woman I loved very much in the world—just like my father treats my mother. Besides, I also worried I can't provide her a well living condition and give her a fortunate life, I really can't promise that.
...to be continued
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